Date: 18. August 2017
The latest, yet first “dangerous trends” in online dating were ghosting and benching but this manipulative trend involves showering a person with attention, and affection then quickly souring up and only dropping “Bombs” of love here and there, leaving the victim with a craving for closeness and care. At that point, the manipulating person can use the other persons feeling against them at will and cause a lot of pain – all to their own benefit.
Since this sort of thing tends to happen in so called “whirlwind romances”, as psychiatrist dale archer states, promises of affection, attention presents, and the future will cause the victim to suffer from high levels of infatuation. As a result, the victim will no longer be able to assess the situation they are in properly and only keep spiraling deeper into their own misfortune.
According to archer in Psychology Today it probably cannot be considered love bombing if the extravagant displays of affection continue indefinitely, actions match words and there is no devaluation phase. As opposed to the other scenario, where “there’s an abrupt shift in the type of attention, from affectionate and loving to controlling and angry, with the pursuing partner making unreasonable demands”, as the behavior now shows clear signs of abusive intentions. The best advice to be given is that, a promising relationship builds slowly yet steadily, while maintaining healthy friendships and relationships with family.
This type of predator tends to be a narcissistic sociopath, and therefore also poses a viable answer as to why people might not realize what they are getting themselves into, Joe Pierre, a professor at UCLA writes in Psychology Today. “When it comes to mate selection, the more adaptive aspects of narcissism are often seen as desirable characteristics. The thing is, narcissism is a complicated construct that includes aspects that can be alternatively adaptive (such as self-sufficiency, individualism, self-regard, confidence, a desire to lead, and ambition) and potentially destructive (such as arrogance, entitlement, vanity, lack of empathy, and a tendency towards interpersonal exploitation and manipulation), with these facets often co-existing in the same person.”
Source: nypost.com
